Sunday, December 28

Pierre's Post

I've told this story so many times in my head, I don't know if I have anything left to write down. So I'll just narrate the pictures. In this case, the pictures really are worth a 1000 words.

Roasting my First Turkey
A graphic novella
by Katy

This is how I found Pierre at the grocery store. He was born in France.

This is what I discovered when I took off the packaging. I took one glance and ran out of the room squealing. Told Bryce that if he wanted turkey for dinner he'd have to cut off the turkey's feet before I'd cook it. Turned out those were not feet. They were the turkey's "shins." They looked just like snakes - scaly and thin (except for the feathers)

This is a picture of the"shin." Because just like a train wreck you can't help but look. And take pictures.

This is the other surprise we discovered. Feathers. Lots of them. They looked like whiskers or quills. At this point, I was pretty sure we were not going to eat this bird. Bryce and I just kept looking at it then at each other. Could we saw off the shins? Pluck all the feathers? And still want to eat it? We persevered. Ahem . . .thanks to Bryce who did the dirty work.

This is what Pierre's legs looked like after Bryce cut (sawed?) off the shins. The kitchen was briefly turned into a butcher shop. I cowered in the living room so I couldn't hear the snap of the legs. Bryce used all of our knives, but the serrated bread knife worked best on the bone.

This is Pierre removed of all of his excess turkey essence. He was washed, dried and stuffed with onions and garlic.

This is Pierre out of the oven and ready to eat. Which we did.

The End.

Epilogue: We finished Pierre tonight in a turkey pot pie.

22 comments:

Henley on the Horn said...

That is disgusting!!! Thanks for sharing. Is that how all turkeys come in France? WOW

Lena said...

OMG you are so brave. I don't know if I could have followed through! What an adventure!

Dawn said...

Oh man, that is AWFUL! I would not have gotten past the shins, personally. My first turkey involved one of my friends chasing me around the kitchen with the neck of the turkey, and I was squicked out the whole time I dealt with it.

Chillygator said...

Gross!!! Your husband is a good man!

Amber, That's Me! said...

eww yuck! I can barely manage feeling around to find the bag of giblets, let alone look at those feathers and "shins". You two are so brave and it looks SO good at the end! Great job!

donandchris said...

Katy! I love the earrings and also the calendar, but the deep laugh I just received after reading Pierre's Post is the best Christmas present ever!

ksjjpalmer said...

WOW! I couldn't have done it. In fact, I make it a point not to prepare any meat. Thank goodness Keith is the cook around here. Pierre looked pretty yummy in the end!

Emily & Jeff said...

its good to get in touch with where food comes from...! You are a very brave woman.

Angie said...

Oh yuck! Seriously -- your pictures made me shiver!

Heather - CROQZine.com - Dollarstorecrafts.com said...

Wow! You're amazing. I hate touching poultry even all cleaned up like we get it in the states! So, do you think it will be less traumatic next time? Or will you just avoid poultry? :)

Bernadete said...

I would have ran out of the room as well! The feathers and skin disgusting, I guesss I take for granted what is provided to us in the states!

Amy R. said...

That is awful! I would have given up! He did look nice after though! :)

katy said...

Thanks for all your comments. It really was *quite* surprising. I'm incredibly squeamish about raw meat, poultry in particular. When I saw the shins, I thought - well, that's it. I can't do it. But it was so important to me to have a nice special dinner for Christmas. I seriously contemplated frozen pizza. But we had such a lonely pathetic Thanksgiving, I didn't want Christmas evening to feel the same. I couldn't have done it without Bryce. I also kept telling myself it would be fine once it was cooked, which it was.

At the grocery store today, I noticed lots of turkeys and checked them out carefully. They were also French, but from a different manufacturer. They also had "shins" but not nearly as many feathers. This must be how the French prepare turkeys for sale.

As for me and poultry. I'll be sticking to the occasional chicken breast for now. It really was a bit much. I think I'll be ready to try it again next Thanksgiving. I learned from another expat that the American Women's Club orders turkeys from a U.S. military base for Thanksgiving - they are U.S. Butterballs. I'll most likely do that or find a butcher and order one from him (without the extras.)

Catherine said...

Your disgust is quite funny from my Belgian point of view (I mean, turkeys ARE birds and birds HAVE feathers - but I've already discuss it with Katy ;-) Anyway, just to reassure you, I've never seen feather on any store-bought chicken in my entire life !

Lori Freet said...

WOW!!! Do all turkeys in Europe come so...WILD-like? Do the chickens?

Lori Freet said...

WOW!!! Do all turkeys in Europe come so...WILD-like? Do the chickens?

Michele said...

Oh my god---gick!! No way, no how. It almost makes me wanna become a vegetarian again. Kudos to you guys! I'm too much of a Sally to have done anything but scream and run away.

Monkey's Mama said...

That is hilarious! We Americans are so removed from our food - thank goodness (although since I don't cook meat anymore tofu is about the scariest thing I get!) Did you have to use needle-nose pliers to pull the feathers?

Road Trippers said...

Think how bored you're going to be when you get back to the States...

Juleskis said...

This makes me glad I live in America. I love to eat...and damn near anything, but I really wouldn't want to have a feather stuck in my teeth...perhaps you should have tried cooking the shins, maybe gnawing on them is a delicacy. EEEEEEEEWWWWWWEEE

sewingchick said...

Ew!! My grandma likes to tell the story that my great-great grandpa made his two twin granddaughters slaughter a chicken when they were only five years old. They moved in with him because their mother died, and he made them cut off a chicken's head. I cannot IMAGINE that.

NorraSud by ROROISM said...

all turkeys are dead animals if you forgot...

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